Personal Development & Dreamboard Workshops For Women in Durham Region & Clarington

Dear Readers, it has been 42 days since my last confession…

Facing Fear: my confession…Doubting

Yup.  42 days since my “first” blog post… where I boldly said I was going to face my fears and start blogging.

I said I would be real, authentic and show up as myself and share with the world (well… whoever of my friends and family who are reading this… THANKS BTW!)  I would start blogging regularly and try to help others with my insights and witty humour (insert laugh….) and hopefully inspire someone to feel better, make changes and be happier.  I was COMMITTED!  I was PUMPED!  I was going to DO IT EVERY WEEK!

Here is the reality.

I have written about 50 blogs in this time.  I’m a FREAKING ROCK STAR!  Problem is… I’ve written them in my head.  Not on paper.  Not on my laptop.  Yup.  In. My. Head.  If you’re like me, that’s EXACTLY my problem… I’m too much in my head.  I over think stuff…and over thinking makes me feel pressured to perform, which leads to overwhelm (SO MUCH to do!) and overwhelm leads to procrastination (because really… where do you start?) and then all my great ideas just sit in my head and wait for me to take action (but what if that action isn’t right??)  Then action doesn’t come …. then I feel bad that I didn’t take action… and beat myself up… and then back to pressure, self doubt and overwhelm…

Ahhh… the vicious cycle of the mind.  This last week… my mind has been REALLY messing me up.  Like – can’t do anything, sit around feeling numb (and dumb) and getting nowhere.  I got into a funk… and it was hard to shake.

What has stopped me from putting all my brilliant (well, maybe not ALL of them are brilliant… but pretty good I’d think!)  ideas out into the world wide web?  That pesky problem that I talked about in my last blog (ya… the 42 days ago blog!)  FEAR.  This is my number one problem.  Heck, I think it’s EVERYONE’S #1 Problem (with a capital P).  Fear stops us from living the life we want, from asking for what we want, from trying something new, from change… in other words… every area of our life is affected by fear.

When fear strikes me, it comes up as depression and anxiety.  I have been dealing with depression the better part of 14 years (the first 10 of those I was on anti-depressants).  Most people wouldn’t believe it upon meeting me (I’m a pretty outgoing, smiley and bubbly person if I do say so myself!)  I am very positive, I truly believe that what we think about – we bring about and that we have the power within us to change what we don’t like.  I KNOW that thoughts become things and we need to choose them wisely.  I believe in positivity, the Law of Attraction, visualization and affirmations.

You may be asking yourself  “If she believes in all this “stuff”  WHY IS SHE STILL having problems with depression and anxiety? She “should” be able to get out of her funk!  Doesn’t she practice what she preaches?  SHE really isn’t what she says she is. “

Yup.  I ask myself that too.  ALL. THE. TIME.  And then guess what?  I beat myself up for it because I “SHOULD” know better.  After all, I’m “Inspiring Jenny” I need to be “ON” all the time.  I am supposed to be inspiring people to create the life that they want.  And you know what… that’s a lot of pressure.  And as mentioned above… for me, pressure leads to overwhelm, which leads to procrastination… and then I become paralyzed in fear.  When I am paralyzed in fear – I have no motivation.  I can’t focus.  I feel tired.  I feel down.  I feel useless.  I feel anxious.  I feel like shit to be honest with you.  And when I’m in that place of shit… I have no energy to do anything.  Then the day goes by… and I haven’t “accomplished” anything.  Then I’m back in that cycle… and feel worthless, pressured, overwhelmed and let’s face it, depressed.

That’s my “go to” emotion when I’m in my funk.  And I’m telling you from experience, once you are in that funk… it can be very hard to get out of it.  BUT I have learned through experience….I’ve gotten out of them before, and I can and will do it again.  So can you.  I focus on the fact that I have come a LONG WAY… and my journey isn’t over yet.  There are going to be good days, and bad… and there has been – trust me.

So… here are a few things that I have found helpful in moving forward and getting out of the funk:

  1. Give yourself permission to feel the way you feel, and be compassionate with yourself (but try not to wallow in it)
  2. Recognize that it is NOT forever and that you WILL feel better (think of experiences you have gone through and come out of before)
  3. Get out a piece of paper and pen (even better… start a journal) and write down 3 things that you are grateful for IN THAT MOMENT.  Gratitude is a powerful force.
  4. Surround yourself with images, quotes, sounds and things that make you feel happy (put on some music, watch kitten videos, read uplifting articles…)
  5. Reach out to someone who’s got your back.  NOT to someone that will make you feel even worse.  Call in your tribe.
  6. Realize you are NOT alone… and that by asking for help… you are likely helping someone else in the process.
  7. Change it up.  Get up. Move.  Go outside (sunshine and fresh air have been a HUGE help for me).
  8. Shorten your “to do” list.  Just think of ONE thing that you could do that day.  If you get that one thing done, and feel like doing more… great.  Chances are once you accomplish one thing, you’ll feel motivated to do another.  Just move forward with ONE thing at a time.  If you just do the one, that’s ok too.  You’re still further than you were before.
  9. Release all guilt on putting yourself first.  You HAVE to take care of yourself, your well-being is THE most important thing.  You are no good to others if you’re not well.
  10. Practice forgiveness.  For yourself.  Tomorrow is another day with the chance to start fresh.  Some days will really suck, but some days will be phenomenal.  Ride the wave…

I have a feeling that I’ll be blogging more after this one today.  It makes me feel better to share my thoughts… and hopefully inspire you to know that you are not alone.  If you like my blog, great.  If you don’t, well… that’s ok too.  I know that the people who need to hear my message will hear it, and that is my purpose.  If I can show up as myself, maybe it will give someone else permission to do the same.  WE ARE NOT ALONE in this world… reach out… share… connect.

My one task today was to write another blog.  It may not be perfect, but I did it.  And guess what? I’m feeling better.  I’ve accomplished what I set out to do AND I’m even motivated to do a bit more.  Today is a good day.  I’m going to embrace that.

What is ONE thing you can do today to move you towards the life you want?  I welcome your comments and feedback.

xo Jenny

  1. AMAZING read Jenny! #6 and #10 were actually really difficult for me to learn. I kept having recurring things happen in my life until I just understood #6 and #10 and then WHOOSH…what a shift! Thanks so much for sharing this.

  2. Thanks Jenny, I appreciate your honesty, it is so refreshing; your transparency is your authenticity and its beautiful!

  3. Hi Jenny;

    Love the open honesty with this blog. It’s so important for people to understand the ins and outs of those who are challenged with depression and anxiety…and understand that it is very real. Your tips are meaningful, simple and so worthwhile. Good luck on your next post!

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